


With Each New Chapter

by bagog



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, for one chapter at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 23:44:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21107948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bagog/pseuds/bagog
Summary: A set of interconnected vignettes of different milestones in Kaidan Alenko's life, from joining the Alliance into the far future.





	1. With Each Judgmental Glare...

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written on m'tumblr for Kaidan Week 2019. They were designed to mesh together, so I thought I'd post them here as a single piece. Regardless, you could read any chapter as if it were its own story and you won't lose anything.
> 
> If you're hear for the smut, head directly to Chapter 4. You can read it in isolation. 
> 
> If you want to skip the smut, skip chapter 4.

Kaidan had paced back and forth outside the recruiting office for a solid twenty minutes. He’d only been back in Vancouver for a few days, and the thought of this morning had been looming large in his mind for a few months now. He only had to go in and do it, he told himself. Oh if only his father could see him now. Not that he’d talked to his family much in the last two years: they had welcomed him back when he was thrown out of brain camp, but with a look in their eyes when they turned away from him. He had suddenly sprung up into adulthood while he was on Jump Zero, and he had come back to earth, able to wield his biotics, but still having the same migraines. Also, he was a murderer now.

They’d been forgiving, his parents, but Kaidan couldn’t help but notice the hushed way they talked when he wasn’t in the room. So he left. He’d talked to his dad once since then, and the elder Alenko’s stern disappointment in his son’s departure had been enough to push Kaidan even further away. He wondered how his father would react once he joined the navy. Maybe all would be forgiven. Maybe.

An hour later, it was done, he’d be headed to basic in one week. The friend he’d been staying with for the past few days would probably be glad to have Kaidan off her couch.

“So how did it go?” Lilly asked when Kaidan walked back into the apartment. She looked like she’d just woken up, a plate of toast in front of her and a pair of slippers on her feet. Her hair was still disheveled from the pillow, but the short haircut she wore made the spikes and random whorls look intentional. Kaidan shrugged.

“It was touch and go for a minute.”

“You didn’t do well on the test?”

“No, I aced the test. But the first recruiter I talked to was… a little bit… well.” He sat down and Lilly slid the plate of toast towards him, but he refused to take a piece. “When he found out I was a biotic, he was pretty resistant. He freaked out. Tried throwing me out.”

“Jesus, of course, fucking prejudiced asshole.”

“I don’t blame him,” Kaidan muttered.

“You _should_! You _should _blame him! There’s nothing wrong with you, Kaidan.”

“Anyway, what I did was stupid anyhow. He asked me what I’d be bringing to the Alliance Navy and I… I lit up.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No,” Kaidan sort of chuckled, a stilted sound. “He just about had a heart attack. I guess he hadn’t looked me up yet, seen about what happened on Jump Zero.”

“So what happened?”

“Another recruiter caught me before I could leave. She _had _read my file. She grilled me pretty hard on whether or not I had some chip on my shoulder about authority.”

“Commander Verner was an abusive bastard.”

“Vyrnnus, yeah. But I guess she was more worried about my ability to follow orders than she was the biotics. Told me it would be hell in basic, and beyond. That I would always be a freak to the other members of my flight, to my commanders. Told me I wouldn’t fit in.”

“That’s harsh.” Lilly bit into a piece of toast, adjusting her position in her seat so she was sitting on one of her legs.

“Probably true, though.” Kaidan swallowed. “Said I probably wouldn’t get promotions. I guess there’s not a lot of biotics in the Alliance Navy. She admitted to me that they didn’t know how to handle the couple they have already.”

“At least you’re not the first.”

“At least. Maybe _that _would be something my dad could be proud of, at least.”

“You can’t beat yourself up about that, he’s proud of you, he’s just sad you left him when you were in so much pain.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“You wouldn’t, you mopey, stubborn ass,” Lilly smiled warmly as she said it. Kaidan didn’t look up, but stared at the table-top with the most mechanical approximation of a smirk he could muster. “So then what happened?”

“I told her I wanted to join, anyway. I wanted a place where I could do some good. That was enough for her, I guess.”

“Is that true?”

“Is what true?”

“That you just want to make a difference. Maybe the Navy isn’t the best place to do that if everybody there’s going to hate your guts just for being who you are.”

“I don’t need people to like me,” Kaidan said resolutely. “I know what I have to offer, and I’m not up there to make friends. I’m up there to help people. Colonists, my fellow soldiers. Even the ones who are afraid of me. Hate me, even.”

“No part of you, like, wants to show them they were wrong about you? Or about biotics in general?” Lilly raised an eyebrow, crunching into another piece of toast. Kaidan was quiet for a long moment.

“I don’t need to do that. If that happens, so much the better. I left a lot of good people on Jump Zero. Everyone abandoned them when that place shut down. I wouldn’t be surprised if most were hooked on Red Sand, by now. It’s not there fault…”

“Sounds like maybe you were abandoned, too,” she said softly. “Are you sure you want to be in a place where people aren’t going to support you?”

“No one’s been supporting me for two years,” Kaidan scoffed. “It’s not so bad. I can live with it. I just need to know I’m doing some good. So if showing them what a biotic can really do happens, well, that’s good for all those people who got left behind. Change hearts, or whatever. But it doesn’t matter for me, far as I’m concerned.” Lilly munched on her toast and stared Kaidan down.

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. Never been more sure.” But he had been, when he first went to Jump Zero. He tried not to think about that. “It’s funny,” he cleared his throat, changing the topic, “I imagined having that conversation with the recruiter so many times—“

“You do that. You’re _always _doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Rehearsing imaginary conversations. Don’t worry, it’s cute,” she hastened to add when Kaidan’s eyebrows furled. She gave a quiet laugh when her reassurance did nothing to pull Kaidan’s eyebrows apart. “Sorry, what happened when you imagined the conversation?”

“I thought I’d talk about my dad. About how he was an Alliance man, and how that really defined him. How I wanted to be the same.” Kaidan shrugged, “But I never bothered. Didn’t feel appropriate, I guess. I guess I’m really doing it for me, not for my dad.”

“Well, then I’m happy for you!”

“Thanks,” Kaidan tried to smile.

“So when do you start?”

“One week.”

“Congratulations!” She tried to sound enthusiastic but there was an air of regret to her tone. “Maybe you could actually stay in touch this time?”

“Yeah, sure.” Kaidan looked out the window at the city below them. “This is going to be the start of a new chapter. Going solo. This is going to be good.” But he wasn’t convincing himself, just yet. “It’s going to be good.


	2. With Every Memory...

“Kaidan!”

“Liara, hey!”

“It’s been some time.” Liara sat back in her chair letting the vid screen fill her display, covering up the eight or nine things she’d been working on.

“Yeah, that’s my fault. Sorry I’ve been out of contact lately, I just… you get so caught up in the day-to-day, y’know?”

“I’ve been busy, too.”

“Anyway, the reason I called is that I’m on Illium. In Nos Astra, actually. Was wondering if you might like to get together?”

“I’d like that. I’ll send you address of my apartment and we can meet this evening?”

“Sounds great.”

That evening Kaidan buzzed the comms at Liara’s fancy apartment complex and was let into the spacious interior. He walked over to a terrarium containing a few small prothean artifacts while Liara bustled over to the windows to open the shutters, revealing the sprawling urban skyline of Nos Astra with the sun setting behind the giant towers.

“What brings you to Illium?”

Kaidan moved to one of the sofas when he was bade to. Liara sat across from him, looking somewhat uncomfortable in her own apartment. Maybe it was just that she was still wearing her work clothes—a dark green dress that seemed to match the deep green of the painting of Ilos Kaidan had seen in the kitchen.

“Had a little leave stored up, figured it was about time I used some of it. To be honest, I wanted to see you.”

“I’m flattered,” Liara smiled warmly. “I don’t think we’ve really gotten a chance to talk since…”

“The anniversary of the Normandy going down, yeah.” Kaidan shook his head. “Reason I wanted to talk to you is, I’ve just gotten a promotion. Staff Commander.”

“I had heard, congratulations!”

“You heard?”

“I’m a very good information broker.”

“Are you keeping tabs on me, Liara?” Kaidan chuckled. He walked to the sofa across from Liara and sat down.

“I like knowing what’s happening with my friends. Sometimes it’s faster to just have a bot run an info-crawl than it is to try to sync up schedules.”

“Fair enough, I guess. So what do you think?”

“About what?”

“The promotion. Feels… feels weird. When I first joined the service, everyone made sure to tell me how much of a freak I’d be, how I’d never get promotions, how I’d never be accepted.” He sighed, “Now, since Ilos—since Shepard—it’s like they can’t stop singing my praises.”

“Biotics are nothing to be ashamed of, maybe attitudes are finally changing.”

“I doubt that,” Kaidan scoffed. “More likely I’m just the token, high-ranking freak they need to keep on a tight leash. Still, it almost feels wrong to accept the promotion. You know, I wouldn’t even be in this position if it wasn’t for Shepard. And he’s gone.”

“He would’ve wanted this for you, Kaidan. I know he would have.”

“…it was his birthday, the other day. I’ve been thinking about him… kind of a lot, lately. Now that I might outrank him it just… I’m just feeling the loss a lot more, I guess.”

Liara looked down, as if there was something she wanted to say and couldn’t bring herself to. “I’m sorry. That sounds like a heavy burden.”

“You’re the only person I could think of to talk to about it. You… I guess for some reason I always assumed you were the only one who knew how I really felt about Shepard.”

Liara held her breath for a second, “Oh, Kaidan. I’m so sorry.”

Kaidan chuckled mirthlessly.

“So I guess you didn’t realize it after all, huh? Well, cat’s out of the bag now, I guess.”

Liara looked more uncomfortable than ever, her hands on her lap, shifting in her seat. She leaned forward and opened her mouth as if to speak. She stuttered for a moment before shaking her head, “And after all this time…?” She asked, as if testing.

“Yeah. Still. After all this time,” Kaidan sighed. “I’ve tried seeing a couple other people, but it just… doesn’t feel right. It’s stupid, you know, he never had any feelings for me. And he’s gone now. I should move on. I shouldn’t even _need _to move on. But…”

“It’s always more complicated than that.”

“I’m just so mad at myself that I never told him. What was I waiting for? The right moment? The regulations to not get in the way? I didn’t say anything, and now he’s gone.” He looked up at Liara, but the more he spoke, the guiltier she looked. “I don’t know why this promotion should make me think about him as much as it does. I imagine having all kinds of conversations with him—still, more than a year and a half later—and… sometimes it feels like the only piece of him I have left.”

“He might not be gone forever,” Liara nearly whispered.

“Hm?” Kaidan had lost his thoughts out the window for a moment.

“He… as long as he lives on in you…” Liara stammered.

“Yeah, I guess.” The two sat in silence for a long moment. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else.”

Liara looked relieved.


	3. With Every Unspoken Conversation...

He would just walk onto the detention level, go to Shepard’s apartment, and go inside.

“Kaidan! What are you doing here?” Shepard would ask.

“Can’t I visit an old friend?” He would say, but Shepard wouldn’t buy it. Not after Horizon. Try again.

“Hey, Shepard. I just wanted to come by and maybe clear the air a little.”

Shepard might accept that a little better. Maybe. Maybe he’d want to cut straight to the chase.

“Why are you here, Kaidan?”

“I wanted to say I’m sorry about Horizon.”

No, something stronger.

“I was wrong about Horizon, Shepard.” Still, even as he imagined saying the words, Kaidan’s temper flared inside him. _Had _he been wrong on Horizon? The details of Shepard’s mission debrief from his time with Cerberus were still deeply classified, but it was at least certain that Shepard was no longer working for—or _with_, if Shepard’s protestations on Horizon were to be believed—Cerberus anymore, and that he had surrendered to the Alliance willingly. Maybe he realized, finally, what Kaidan had always known: that Cerberus was evil. He thought he and Shepard had discovered that together, stumbling onto Cerberus raids and sick experiments. Back when he and Shepard were still crewmates. Still fast friends. Back when it was easy to tell Shepard anything.

Still, no matter how his temper flared, he let the words stand in his imagination. Best to at least give Shepard an olive branch. Some things were worth swallowing your pride for.

“I was wrong about Horizon, Shepard.”

“No shit.”

No, that wasn’t like Shepard, no matter how much Kaidan was bristling for a fight, he couldn’t really imagine Shepard saying that.

“It’s alright, Kaidan.”

Or maybe:

“Apology accepted. I don’t think either one of us were in the right frame of mind to have that meeting. After everything we’d just seen, the Collectors.” Shepard would trail off there and Kaidan would feel a familiar pang in his heart, the strange sinking feeling of something returning to normal that Kaidan hadn’t even realized had been out of balance.

“Yeah, still it doesn’t excuse what I… accused you of. You’re a good man, Shepard. Whatever that military tribunal decides, I know you’re a good man.” Because it was true. Shepard had proven himself to be one of the most trustworthy, _good_ men Kaidan had ever known early in their acquaintance aboard the SR-1. He liked to think even a stint with Cerberus couldn’t ruin that.

“I don’t know about that. But I know where my loyalties lie,” Shepard might say, grim-faced, still, despite the healing words.

“Losing you really was like losing a limb.”

No, he couldn’t say that. Couldn’t just blurt that out. Kaidan closed his eyes, his shoulders sagging. But it was his imagined conversation, and he needed to say that, again. Not in the heat of the moment, not to prove a point, but to make sure Shepard really _knew _it. He had replayed their conversation on Horizon a hundred times in his mind, and he always returned to this. He let the words hang in his imagination.

“What do you mean?” Shepard might reply. The question Kaidan dreaded more than any other. For the first few months after Shepard’s death (but he hadn’t been dead, had he? Kaidan temper replied) he had struggled to find words for what he was feeling. ‘Losing a limb’ was the way he operationalized the feeling. He had never tried to articulate further what he meant.

“I didn’t realize how much I relied on you. How much I needed you in my life to make things seem… whole.” He couldn’t look Shepard in the eye, in his imagination. It was simply too difficult, those blue eyes boring into him.

“Then why didn’t you trust me when I came back?”

Why was Shepard’s voice in his head always saying the things Kaidan was most afraid to hear? Was this penance?

But in his mind, Shepard didn’t sound accusing, he sounded plaintive. Searching. That surprised Kaidan. He didn’t know if he could take that.

“Because I don’t trust Cerberus!” He roared in his mind. “You shouldn’t have either! There was nothing we couldn’t do if we just stuck together, dammit! Why didn’t you contact me when you came back? Why didn’t you trust me enough to come away from those monsters and let me help you?”

Before he could take back the words, the Shepard in his imagination began to fade like smoke carried away on the wind.

“Wait, Shepard, come back! I didn’t mean… I didn’t mean it. Just come back, we can work this out!”

But he was gone, and Kaidan opened his eyes. He was alone.

“I’m being promoted to Major,” he said out loud, at last. “I just thought you should know.”

But he couldn’t imagine Shepard’s response, anymore. Shepard, who had known him better than anyone, was only a man Kaidan _used _to know.


	4. With Every Moment of Love...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We interrupt this character study for smuuuuuuuuuuut

Kaidan hadn’t wanted their first time to be aboard the ship, and instead he booked a room on the Citadel. It looked out over the Presidium, the bed floating on small Mass Effect field generators: the kind of hotel room Kaidan could afford with his frugal lifestyle. The kind of comfort Shepard could scarcely imagine from his time growing up on earth.

“Look at this place!” Shepard exclaimed, walking into the suite, Kaidan in tow, hand in his hand. “I haven’t seen a room like this outside a galactic arms dealer’s house!”

“What can I say?” Kaidan stepped behind him and wrapped an arm around Shepard’s chest, pressing a kiss into the nape of his neck. “I want the best for you.” He gave a throaty chuckle that made Shepard shudder.

“Here I thought you’d be getting us a quick-fuck-motel-room on Zakeera ward.”

“You didn’t really think that, did you?” Kaidan nuzzled against the back of Shepard’s ear, breathing in his scent. “You didn’t think I’d treat you right after waiting so long to get ahold of you?” He whispered, as if there were an audience he didn’t want to hear, accustomed to always being surrounded by people. Out the window, the blue band of sky ringing the Presidium lit the room in glorious daylight, the cars outside speeding past, not a soul looking in on the couple. They were finally alone. Gloriously alone.

“How long have you wanted me?” Shepard smirked as he asked, letting his body melt back into Kaidan’s, tilting his head so Kaidan could lay soft kisses onto the goosebumps forming on his neck. Kaidan made him feel warm inside, Kaidan gave him the chills.

“I’ve known I love you for a long time,” Kaidan said softly. “And as for how long I’ve wanted to see you like this? Leaning up against me,” Kaidan kissed his jawline, “Ready to take me to bed,” another kiss to the nape of his neck, “How long I’ve imagined throwing you down on the bed… longer than that.”

Shepard wriggled against Kaidan, humming with pride at the admission.

“I never knew you had it in you. Imagining your commanding officer… like _that_.”

“There’s a lot about me you don’t know, then,” Kaidan’s hand slid down to the expanse of Shepard’s chest, slipping his hand under the leather jacket and feeling Shepard’s hard muscle through the fabric of his t-shirt. “You’re never gonna doubt again that I want you. Like _that_.” The word hung in the air as Kaidan continued to feel Shepard up, one hand on his waist, pulling Shepard against him by hooking a thumb into the belt-loops on his jeans. Shepard turned in his arms and took Kaidan’s face in his hands, leaning in to press his lips into Kaidan’s.

The kiss was passionate and slow, Kaidan’s tongue thick against his own. Breathing in the scent of Kaidan’s cologne in the gasps between more hungry kisses. Kaidan tilted his head to the side, opened his lips to capture Shepard’s, then quickly tilted his head to the other side, surprising Shepard with his forwardness. Shepard groaned into Kaidan’s mouth and let his hand travel down his lover’s body, cupping his ass firmly in both hands until he could feel Kaidan hard against him.

“What do you want to do to me?” Shepard asked, breathless as he pulled back.

“I can tell you, or I can show you.” Kaidan let just the tips of his fingers slip into the back waistband of Shepard’s jeans. Shepard felt the muscles in Kaidan’s ass flex as he ground his hard-on into Shepard’s. He had watched that ass more times than he could count, staring as they dressed for combat—or undressed for a shower. Kaidan’s ass in his uniform, filling out the standard issue trousers in a way that made Shepard’s cock stir. But he never dreamed he’d have it in his hands like this.

“I bet you can do both. I know how much you love to talk, _Major._”

Kaidan raised an eyebrow, his smile twisting into a hungry smirk.

“I want to put you on that bed,” Kaidan turned Shepard back around, letting his fingers trail down the stubble on Shepard’s throat. “I’m _going _to put you on that bed. I’m going to strip you down and take my time looking at every inch of you: the man I’ve wanted for so long. The man I love.” He pulled Shepard’s chin until he could lay a sensual kiss against the corner of his lips. He was whispering again, and Shepard was spellbound. “I’m going to feel your body,” and he did, letting his hands wander down Shepard’s front, softly tugging up on his shirt until his could run his fingers over the trail of hair below Shepard’s navel. “I’m going to kiss you all over. I’m going to take your cock in my mouth,” his hand slipped lower and felt Shepard’s cock through the fly of his jeans. “I’m going to make you moan for me, make you feel so good.”

Shepard moaned, let his head fall back against Kaidan’s shoulder. His hands trembled as he gripped at Kaidan’s arms around him. He had never imagined this, had never dared to imagine what it would be like to be the object of Kaidan’s passion. “Kaidan…” the name slipped from his tongue, the plea so much louder than the promises Kaidan was whispering in his ear.

“I’m going to lift your legs up, kiss my way down your thighs. I’m going to take my tongue to that perfect ass of yours. I’m going to eat you out, get you ready.” The final word came out as half a growl and Shepard’s hips bucked back against’ Kaidan’s as if they had a mind of their own. Shepard was overwhelmed, and he tried to reach around to put his hand between them, to grope for Kaidan’s crotch, but Kaidan wouldn’t allow them to separate a single inch. “Shh, let me take care of you,” Kaidan muttered, his voice still a wanton rasp.

“You’re making me feel… _so _good, Kaidan.”

“I’m going to fuck you,” Kaidan breathed, letting his breath tickly the fine hairs on the shell of Shepard’s ear. “I’m going to show you how much I need you.”

“Fuck, Kaidan.”

“Do you want that?”

“Yes!”

“Good.” Kaidan stepped back just enough to slip Shepard’s jacket off his shoulders. It crumpled to the floor, and Shepard almost went with it, so drunk on the feeling of Kaidan’s strong body holding him close: weak at the knees. “Now, we’ve got a big room. We don’t have to do this in the entry-way.”

“I feel bad messing up that bed.”

“That’s what it’s there for.”

“Show me,” Shepard looked back over his shoulder with a grin. He would let Kaidan take care of him. Giving in would feel so good. He pried himself from Kaidan’s grasp and sauntered over to the bed, feeling Kaidan’s eyes on his body.

Kaidan chuckled behind him, and when Shepard turned back around, Kaidan’s shirt was unbuttoned to his navel, already a fine sheen of sweat making the division between his pecs stand out in the artificial daylight. Shepard almost rushed back to run his tongue between those muscles, to drop to his knees…

Kaidan strutted forward, pulling at the hem of Shepard’s shirt until he could tug it off his body and drop it to the floor, leaving a trail of Shepard’s clothes between the door and the bed. When Shepard’s torso was naked, Kaidan’s eyes turned dark, drinking in the sight before him. Shepard had never been so completely devoured by a man’s gaze before. Kaidan flashed his teeth in a wordless groan when he took one of Shepard’s nipples between thumb and forefinger, rolling it back and forth while Shepard grasped at his shoulders for purchase.

When Kaidan stepped forward, Shepard felt the back of his knees make contact with the edge of the mattress, and Kaidan impishly pushed him over onto the bed. Kaidan took in the sight of him sprawled on the bed, breathing heavy and slow. He began to strip out of his own clothes and Shepard took that as his cue to unbuckle his belt, kick off his shoes, and pull his pants down. His cock was straining the fabric of his black briefs, the cool air against his hot skin made him shiver. Or maybe it was the way Kaidan’s lips parted in desire when Shepard was exposed before him.

Kaidan pulled his shirt hem out of his pants. Shepard couldn’t help but lean forward, licking a stripe up the crevices of Kaidan’s abs. His hands gripped at Kaidan’s ass again, taking in the firmness and the give, pulling his lover in until his face was pressed hard against the planes of Kaidan’s body.

“I love your ass, Kaidan. Turns me on so much.”

“Yeah? You like?” Kaidan asked, tipping Shepard’s chin up till he looked him in the eye.

“I love it. I dream about it,” Shepard rushed to reply. It was a lie, though, he had never hoped to have Kaidan like this, had never let his mind wander there. Oh, but he had looked. How he had stared. How he had wanted to let himself believe the man could want him in that way.

“You’re going to show me exactly what you dream about, understood?” Kaidan demanded, pulling his shirt from his body and toeing off his boots. Shepard nodded dumbly and reached up with his tongue to taste one of the firm nubs of Kaidan’s nipple. Kaidan hissed and pressed on the back of Shepard’s neck. Once Kaidan’s chest was shining from Shepard’s ministrations, he took two steps back and thrust his hips forward, Shepard could see the outline of his hard cock beneath the uniform, pressed tightly against Kaidan’s hip. Kaidan unbuttoned the pants and turned around. Even with his pants unbuttoned, those thighs and that ass kept his uniform pants up. Kaidan needed to shimmy them down in tandem with his underwear, and did so slowly, letting the fabric slide over his ass, slowly revealing it in its naked glory to Shepard.

“You’re so beautiful, Kaidan,” Shepard breathed, needing to lean back on his elbows on the bed, eyes wide and taking in the sight being revealed to him.

“Beautiful?” Kaidan smirked over his shoulder, his pants now tucked under the globes of his ass. “Thank you.” He had to bend over to take his pants all the way off, and Shepard gasped at the sight before him: Kaidan’s ass on full display, heavy balls hanging down between his thighs. When Kaidan turned around, his cock was jutting out from his body, pointing straight at Shepard.

“Shit,” Shepard swore under his breath.

“It doesn’t seem fair that I’m naked and you’re still wearing your briefs, now, does it? Shepard gaped for a moment, then reached down with trembling hands to take off his briefs. “No,” Kaidan interjected, taking a step forward. “Let me.” He reached down and hooked the tips of his fingers into the waistband. Shepard lifted his hips off the bed and let his lover strip him naked in one fluid motion. Kaidan threw the briefs behind him as if in victorious celebration, then kneeled on the bed, legs on either side of Shepard’s thighs, and pulled the man into a deep kiss. Shepard needed to strain his neck to reach, and was rewarded by the feeling of Kaidan’s soft lips ravaging his mouth. His hands reached out to Kaidan’s ass again, letting him grind his cock against Shepard’s body, leaving a wet spot against his chest.

“You’re perfect, Kaidan,” he said when they finally came up for air. “I love you.” It was so easy to say, now, even though it had been unthinkable just a few weeks ago when Kaidan had confessed his feelings in Apollo’s. It was as if he had loved Kaidan for years and never allowed himself to admit it, even to himself. Now here he was, making love to the man he had entrusted his life to so many times.

“I love you,” Kaidan replied, shuffling forward on his knees until Shepard was forced to raise himself up and scramble fully onto the mattress. Kaidan drank in the sight. Shepard felt his face become hot at the attention, the way Kaidan’s cock bobbed as he gazed at Shepard’s every inch: scanning over his powerful shoulders, down his muscled chest, the faint trail of hair that led from Shepard’s navel to the base of his cock. When he looked back in Shepard’s eye, his own amber eyes were hot with passion. Kaidan leaned down and pressed a kiss to Shepard’s lips, leaving him wanting more when he turned his attention to Shepard’s chest, trailing kisses down Shepard’s body, reveling in the feel of Shepard’s heavy breathing pressing against his lips.

He gripped Shepard’s thighs like a vice, and leaned forward until the tip of Shepard’s cock pressed wet against his lips. His tongue came out and he swirled it around the head, then flattened his tongue against Shepard’s shaft. He mouthed down to the base, then licked his way back up. Winking up the bed at Shepard, he lowered his mouth onto his cock. Shepard threw his head back when he felt the warmth of Kaidan’s mouth surround him. Kaidan sucked softly, feeling Shepard’s hard cock throb against his tongue, then after a few minutes of slow strokes, took Shepard into his throat and sucked him down to the hilt. Shepard moaned wantonly and reached out to run his fingers through Kaidan’s hair, the styled locks giving him a perfect handhold to pull Kaidan back down onto him every time he bobbed back up. The wet sound his cock made going back and forth into Kaidan’s mouth was absolutely sinful, as was the gasp he made when Kaidan took him to the root again and licked at his balls.

Kaidan gently fondled Shepard’s balls, as if he could feel them churning with the need that had been building in Shepard since he first felt that mouth around him. One of Kaidan’s fingers tickled the fine hairs behind his balls, pressing until it found Shepard’s entrance, softly circling it and testing the give. That made Shepard’s body go rigid, spreading his legs in invitation for Kaidan to go deeper.

“Dammit, Kaidan,” Shepard cried out when Kaidan swallowed around the head of his cock again, “I don’t think I can hold it!”

“Cum for me,” Kaidan said, whispered words against Shepard’s spit-shined shaft.

“I want you to fuck me, though.” It almost came out as a whine.

“There’ll be time for that,” Kaidan’s gaze was sparking in the light of the Presidium sunshine streaming through the window. “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Kaidan…” Shepard sighed. Kaidan popped one finger in his mouth and sucked it slick, then pushed it against Shepard’s entrance again. When he slipped in to the knuckle, he groaned almost as loud as Shepard did. He sucked on Shepard’s balls, growling at the way Shepard’s cock dripped above him. He reached between his own legs and began fisting his own cock. Shepard tried to prop himself up to get a better view, but he could barely keep his eyes open from the pleasure wracking his body.

“Gonna sink deep into you,” Kaidan said breathlessly as he neared his own release, hand sliding up and down his hard cock. “Can’t wait to feel how tight you are for me, Shepard. All mine. Feel you grabbing at my ass while I thrust into you harder, feel you pulling me in. All yours.”

Shepard let out a strangled cry, and just in time: Kaidan sank his mouth back onto his cock just as he came, tasting Shepard flooding his mouth. Kaidan choked for a moment and then was shooting his own load as well. Shepard fell boneless back to the mattress chest rising and falling in great, heaving breaths. He babbled incoherently, couldn’t stop himself, needed Kaidan to know what he was doing to him. When he began to grow soft in Kaidan’s mouth, his lover drew himself back up to lay against Shepard’s body. Shepard could taste himself on Kaidan’s lips.

“That was perfect,” Shepard moaned when their lips parted. Kaidan turned over to fall onto his back next to Shepard, and the two entwined their fingers as they both waited for their breathing to slow.

“All yours,” Kaidan repeated, bringing Shepard’s hand to his lips for a light kiss.

“And I’m all yours,” Shepard replied, feeling his eyelids grow heavy. He yawned loudly, feeling like he had completely emptied himself. “You’re sure we can’t do that on the ship?”

“I never said we couldn’t do it on the ship,” Kaidan smiled, “I just said I wanted our first time to be special.”

“Well, that was special,” Shepard yawned again.

“Shh, go to sleep, I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

“Will you be ready to do that again?”

“And so much more.”


	5. With Everything Life Can Bring...

The Citadel was once again the seat of galactic power, even as it orbited Earth in a debris cloud of its own making. It had been a brutal reconstruction, but the relays and the Citadel had taken precedent for a large percentage of the galactic community, even over the reconstruction efforts on individual worlds. It was if, since the end of the war, suddenly there was a sense of the need to stand together.

Shepard did that, Kaidan thought, looking out the windows down onto the Ward arms. Shepard had brought the universe together. Shepard himself had been in rough shape after the war, but he had recovered quickly under the care of the best doctors the Alliance could find. Kaidan was grateful. When he had watched the Crucible go off, he had almost given up hope: the massive explosion rocking the station to its core and destroying the Crucible. But he should have known Shepard would be too stubborn to die like that. Still, in the year since, Kaidan had practically never let Shepard out of his sight. He would never be alone again.

Kaidan was dressed fully in his armor, and it felt strange not to have his rifle maglocked to his back. But charity events like this only wanted the armor, not the armaments. What a strange world it had become, dressing in armor for charity children’s fundraisers, not to kill Reapers.

The door to the hospital slid open silently behind Kaidan, and he turned to see Shepard there, backing his way out of the hospital and saying loud goodbyes to the crowd of children who had followed him to the exit. He watched the scene with affection, it made his breath catch to see Shepard—similarly in full heavy armor—bending at the waist to teach a small turian boy how to give a high five, ruffling a little girl’s hair, or speaking in a bright, child-friendly voice to a room of adoring, miniature fans.

When the door closed, Shepard turned to him, still wearing the wide smile he had given to the children. He joined Kaidan at the window, looked back over his shoulder for cameras before leaning in to give Kaidan a long, slow kiss. It reminded Kaidan of London, kissing like this in full armor. Kaidan had never thought he’d live to see another day, and their kiss had reflected that. Now, the future was bright ahead of them, and the slow kiss spoke about a world of possibility.

“You get to say goodbye to everyone who wanted a piece of you?” Kaidan teased, pulling away from Shepard’s kiss.

“Yeah. My arms are going to be aching tomorrow from kids hanging off me, though.” Shepard made an exaggerated stretch of his shoulders and mock-winced. “How’d you get out here so easy, anyway?”

Kaidan shrugged. “Guess most everyone wanted to see you.” That wasn’t exactly true. As the second human Spectre in a new era of Spectre-mania, he was almost as popular as Shepard, as far as war heroes went. The Citadel Council had largely made Shepard and Kaidan—the whole crew of the Normandy, really—the face of victory over the Reapers. There wasn’t a child alive who didn’t know their names, now. Still, it was good for Shepard to indulge in a little hero worship, and if they hadn’t been asked to make these appearances at children’s hospitals all over the Citadel, he would’ve suggested Shepard go visit them, anyway. The kids always had a profound effect on him.

“Well, next time, maybe they can do less crawling on me and more crawling on you.”

“Yeah, I hear you,” Kaidan smirked, “Old man.”

“Ouch, low blow. I almost died.”

“But you didn’t.” He leaned over and pecked a kiss against Shepard’s lips.

“Mm, keep reminding me,” Shepard smiled, eyes heavy lidded from the kiss he’d received.

“Come on,” Kaidan slapped a hand against Shepard’s armored shoulder. “Let’s get out of here before more cameras show up.”

The two walked along in no particular hurry, despite Kaidan’s wanting to avoid cameras. Shepard soon seemed deep in thought, focusing more on the ground than on where he was going. Every few steps, he would look up and stare at Kaidan for a second, lips curling into a mischievous smile.

“What?” Kaidan finally asked, turning to face Shepard.

“Hm?”

“You keep looking at me. What’s up?”

Shepard laughed a little too loud, shrugged sheepishly.

“It’s nothing, really. Just something I’ve been thinking about.” He looked up at Kaidan, his eyes gentle. Kaidan could get used to seeing this side of Shepard: wearing his armor like a costume for the amusement of some kids, rather than to guard his life against mercs, and Cerberus, and Reapers, and geth, and everything that wanted to kill him. “I liked watching you interact with the kids, today.” Shepard said. “Seeing you sit in that tiny chair so you could look at the picture that little girl was drawing… made me smile.”

Now it was Kaidan’s turn to laugh.

“You thought that was funny, huh?”

“No, not funny. Sweet. Not just that. The way you talk when you’re talking to the little kids. The way your voice gets all soft. The way you stoop down so you’re always on the level with the kid you’re talking to. Letting that boy beat you in that video game and making a big deal about how good he is.” Shepard idly put a hand on his shoulder, just a modicum of affection in the public space.

“I like kids, I guess,” Kaidan said softly.

“You’re good with them.”

“Yeah. Y’know, I like watching you play with the kids, too.”

“Heh,” Shepard scoffed. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You make it work,” Kaidan scanned Shepard’s face, watching the tiny expressions shift from embarrassment to acceptance to… love, really.

“Kaidan,” Shepard cleared his throat. He leaned against the window, folded his arms across his chest. “I know this isn’t really the best time to ask, but… What do you think about having a kid?”

Kaidan’s jaw dropped, but then he grinned.

“Us? A kid?”

“Yeah,” Shepard looked away for a moment, but kept talking. “We’re both retired. There’s no more war. What if we just… started a family? We’ve got all the time in the world, now, to devote to each other. Maybe we could bring in someone new, huh?”

Kaidan could scarcely imagine it, but then he pictured Shepard in their apartment, carrying around their son on his shoulders. He imagined Shepard in the kitchen, cooking up a family dinner while Kaidan helped a little girl set the table. He imagined Shepard, eyes dark-rimmed from staying up all night with a sick child, making sure he wasn’t alone for a single minute that night, whether asleep or not. It was a version of Shepard he had never seen before—outside of charity events like this one. And honestly, it was a vision he could stand to see come to life.

“I always _did _want a family,” Kaidan said, his grin spreading. Shepard looked up, almost startled by his acquiescence.

“Really? I… I thought I’d have to do more convincing.”

“This is something you’ve been thinking about for a while, huh?”

“Yeah,” Shepard rubbed the back of his neck, a funny gesture by a man so heavily armored. “Since I was in the hospital—lucky to be alive—I’ve kind of been thinking about how I could give back. About what kind of life I wanted to live, now that I’m not trying to save the universe. And no matter where I am or what I do, I know my future is with you. Seeing you with all those kids today just reminded me what a great dad you’d make.”

“We’re gonna make awesome dads, Shepard.”

It was Shepard’s turn to smile. And there, in the middle of the market with whispering civilians looking on, he kissed Kaidan on the lips until their mutual, irrepressible laughter forced them apart.


	6. ...You'll Find a Family

Kaidan had taken a cab back to his and Shepard’s apartment on the Silver Sun Strip, the top button on his tailored suit undone. As he took the elevator up to their level, he sighed, leaned back against the wall of the lift. It was late, and even so, the day had sped past, and Kaidan almost felt bad about that. Almost. He was ready for his retirement, no matter how much the young man in his head cried out that there was still more he should be doing. Kaidan smiled, remembering himself as a young soldier. Back when duty was the only thing in his head besides the migraines. There was still that young man inside him, somewhere—Shepard sometimes talked about it, even, when Kaidan got upset and lost his composure, when he played with his grandkids, sometimes when they made love—but nowadays, Kaidan accepted it as a part of him. It was like listening to a long-standing councilor, reminding him why he had done the things he’d done, made the choices he’d made, to remind him of the passions that drove him. Kaidan let that little voice pass through his head, urging him back to work. Back into the fray. Other things had become important to him. He looked down at his wedding ring, so tightly fixed to his finger he doubted he could even pull it off.

There had been a ceremony for his retirement, a small affair, despite the fact that Kaidan’s retiring was big news. He had become somewhat accustomed to hearing about himself around the Citadel on extranet audio feeds, but it was the first time where the news sounded resoundingly positive. Kaidan sighed, he wouldn’t be in the news anymore. What a relief. He honestly hadn’t allowed himself to look forward to his retirement, not the specifics, anyway. He probably wouldn’t feel the pull to go back to work right away tomorrow morning, but within a week he was almost positive he’d be bored. Shepard had retired years earlier, and had made it work somehow. Shepard was even more likely to be drawn back into things than Kaidan was, and somehow he had become an exemplar retiree. Of course, he’d had their kids to raise as a stay-at-home dad. And he had his models, and his writing.

“I need a hobby. Or I need to see if Alice will bring the kids around, more often,” he muttered to himself, stepping off the elevator. Walking to his apartment door, he waved his omni-tool over the sensor, but nothing happened, the holo-disk on the door remaining a fixed red. He waved his omni-tool again, still nothing. He thought for a moment about hacking the door—it would feel good to sink into some tech fiddling, again—but instead he rang the door chime. There was a long pause, then Shepard’s face was filling the reception screen.

“Oh Kaidan, you’re back. I thought you’d be at the retirement party for a little while longer.”

“I excused myself early,” Kaidan waved his hand as if to brush away Shepard’s question. “Hey, why isn’t my omni-tool opening the door lock?”

“I, uh, changed the locks.” The crinkles around Shepard’s eyes deepened as he tried to grin to ease the tension.

“Um. Why?”

“You’ll see. Here, I’ll open the door just give me a second.” The reception screen went dead. Kaidan could swear he heard fumbling from the other side of the door, but it was probably just his imagination. He hadn’t thought much about it when Shepard excused himself from the official retirement party, but now he was suspicious. A moment later, the holo-disk on the door flashed green and Kaidan walked in.

“Surprise!”

Shepard stood in front of the door, arms outstretched. Behind him stood his old friends. Garrus and Tali raising a glass to him, Liara not looking a day over 130, Joker sitting on the couch craning over the back to raise his glass as well, EDI standing by his side. A large holographic display above the mantle said “HAPPY RETIREMENT”.

“What’s this?” The laughter bubbled out of him, and Shepard stepped forward to give him a gentle kiss on the lips.

“It’s your real retirement party,” Shepard smiled mischievously. “I knew those suits on the Council wouldn’t know how to send you off in style.”

“What are you all doing here?” Kaidan stepped farther into the room, surveying the cluster of friends with incredulity.

“Just happened to be in the area,” Garrus said. It was odd to see him without his tactical visor, even if he hadn’t been wearing it in years. He was so much older than Kaidan remembered, but then again, Kaidan wasn’t one to talk.

“I call bullshit.” Kaidan chuckled. Tali rested a hand on Garrus’ shoulder.

“What are a few thousand light years between old friends?”

“And Liara,” Kaidan turned as Liara handed him a flute of champagne. “You haven’t come to the Citadel in years.”

“I decided it was worth breaking my self-imposed exile to come help you celebrate.”

“Joker, it’s good to see you!” Kaidan clinked his glass against Joker’s.

“Yeah, well, Earth was getting boring and I still owe Shepard a favor or two,” he smirked.

“Jeff has been looking forward to attending this party for some time,” EDI assured with her own soft smile. The nuance in her expressions had evolved over time, and the dermal fabrication she was now outfitted with did a lot to help her overall relatability. “As have I. Many happy returns, Kaidan.”

“I tried to wrangle up as many people as I could, but I knew you’d want to keep it small.” Shepard stepped behind him and rested a hand on the small of his back.

“It’s perfect.” Kaidan sipped at the champagne. “I can’t tell you how good it is to see you all here.”

“Here, you give me this,” Shepard plucked the glass from his hand. “And you go upstairs and change into something comfortable.” He fussed with Kaidan’s unbuttoned collar for a moment, running his hand down the stiff material of the suit. “Then we can cut the cake.”

“You got a cake?”

“You losing your hearing on me, Alenko?” Shepard raised a mischievous eyebrow. “Now, go get changed!”

Kaidan stepped up the stairs as the small party settled themselves on couches around the fireplace. In his and Shepard’s room, he stripped out of his suit and walked into the closet. He surveyed the clothes inside—day-off clothes. Now they were going to be his every day apparel. He considered taking a quick shower, but decided he didn’t want to keep his guests waiting and put on a pair of jeans and a button down flannel.

There was lively conversation happening downstairs by the time Kaidan stepped up to the balcony. It made him smile to see everyone talking and laughing. It had been years since they’d all been in the same room. Kaidan had seen each of them over the years as they came to visit Shepard while on the Citadel, but to have his crewmates all under one roof was a special treat. By this point in their lives, they’d spent more time separated from one another than together, but after what they had all shared, there were few people in the galaxy they were closer to than each other, even after all this time.

“Kaidan!” Tali exclaimed when he came back down the stairs and joined Shepard on the couch, retrieving his champagne flute. “You look good! Shepard, how come you didn’t age as gracefully as your husband, hm?”

“Very funny. I know what a lucky man I am.” He put his hand on Kaidan’s knee and gave his husband a wide smile.

“Not fair to be criticizing other people getting older when you get to wear a mask every day.” Joker was pouring himself another glass of champagne, setting the empty bottle back on the table to join the three empty bottles there already.

“_Get_ to wear a mask?” Tali said. “Same as you _get _to wear that exoskeleton, I suppose?”

“Oh please,” Joker patted the metal exoframe on his legs. “I could take this off any time I wanted.”

“Kaidan doesn’t need you breaking a bone at his party, old man,” Garrus said, dryly. “And I don’t think EDI wants to carry your ass to a hospital if you do.”

“You’re just smug because your face was already so messed up, no one could tell you were getting older,” Joker said.

“Turians don’t get wrinkles.”

“Neither do asari,” Liara offered, giving Joker a little smile over the lip of her glass.

“You pipe down, young lady,” Joker said. “We’re all going to be dead before anyone gets to call you old.”

“Now that’s a depressing thought.” Tali crossed one leg over the other.

“Good thing I have plenty of good memories to keep me company,” Liara had a twinkle in her eye. “Not to mention records of all your personal files.

“I don’t envy you the things you must have seen,” Kaidan laughed.

“Laugh it up,” Joker shook his head. “I’ll still be sitting pretty when the rest of you are dust.” He turned to Liara, “Except you.” He turned back to EDI, “And you.”

“_Keelah_ can we talk about something else?”

“You started it,” Shepard teased, stretching one arm and resting it behind Kaidan’s shoulders.

“_I _just gave a _simple _compliment to the man of honor on the occasion of his retirement.” Tali orated a little too loudly, sounding like she’d been indulging in the champagne while Kaidan was upstairs. She jerked a thumb at Joker, “Then chuckles over here decided to make things personal. And talking about death.”

“’Chuckles?’” Joker scoffed. “When did this become a gang-up-on-Joker party?”

“You make it too easy,” EDI said.

“After all the times I saved _all _of your asses,” Joker shook his head.

“Still, Joker’s right,” Garrus sat up a little straighter, probably exercising a crick in his back. “This is supposed to be Kaidan’s night.” He turned to Kaidan, “Let me just say, Kaidan, that the first time I met you, I thought you were a helluva soldier, if a little uptight—“

“You were the one with a stick up your ass,” Joker murmured into his champagne flute.

“—I remember our first mission together, hunting down Fist—“

“I wasn’t there for that,” Kaidan raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it was you and Wrex,” Shepard said.

“Look, are you going to let me tell my story, here, or what?” Shepard and Kaidan both chuckled and nodded for Garrus to continue. “So alright, I don’t remember our first mission together. But I do remember the first conversation we ever had on the Normandy. We talked about you joining the Alliance.”

“That’s right,” Kaidan could hardly believe he could remember. “I was telling you about the day I joined the Alliance.”

Garrus nodded.

“When I found out you were a biotic, and later when I found out you had an L2 implant, I couldn’t believe the Alliance was willing to take a chance on you.”

“They weren’t going to, at first.”

“Well, I’m glad they took a chance on you. Best decision the Alliance ever made, if you ask me. Glad I gave you a chance, too. Here’s to you.”

“I _do _remember my first mission with Kaidan,” Tali spoke up as soon as Garrus had raised his glass. “We were on that god-awful planet fiddling with that downed probe.”

“This I don’t remember,” Kaidan shrugged.

“There were downed probes all over the place, and Shepard brought us as his tech experts. I remember you tried decrypting the information using a double-diffusion decompression matrix!”

“No way would I have done that, even back then!”

“You did! I remember because I thought it was silly.”

“That would be silly, jeez, what was I thinking?” He turned to Shepard, “Do you remember this?”

“Another planet, another downed probe. They all bleed together,” Shepard shrugged.

“Well anyway, I thought you were an idiot, but somehow you managed to catch your mistake and decrypt most of the data. I couldn’t believe it!”

“That would’ve back when I had that overclocked Cission pro.”

“Alright nerds, get to the point,” Joker huffed.

“Anyway, on the ride back to our pick-up, I asked you about what you would’ve done if you hadn’t joined the Alliance.” She tilted her head expectantly.

“I wanted to be a painter,” Kaidan laughed, enjoying the memories and the heady rush of the champagne.

“That’s what you told me,” Tali said. “You were one of the first humans I ever got to know. You’ve always been such a hard worker, such a good friend, such a good judge of character, I just expected all humans to be like that. Didn’t take me long to realize you were special. And I’m glad you’ll get to settle down, now.”

“Thank you, Tali,” Kaidan smiled warmly.

“I remember when you first promoted to Staff Commander,” Liara spoke up. “You came to visit me on Ilium. As I recall, it was the first time I found out you had feelings for Shepard.”

“This was while Shepard was dead that first time?” Garrus asked, Shepard leaned in as well. Liara nodded.

“You were feeling emotional about outranking Shepard. It took everything I had not to tell you that I’d recovered his body and given it to Cerberus.”

“Yeah, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I had acted impulsively, giving Shepard over to Cerberus like that. To be honest, I probably felt a little guilty, too.”

“Well, I for one, am glad you did what you did.” Shepard squeezed Kaidan’s shoulder.

“Me too,” Kaidan said.

“Hearing the way you talked about Shepard made me realize how much you loved him. Made me even more determined to hold Cerberus to account.”

“I think you might’ve known more about me than I knew about myself, that day. I don’t know how much _I _knew about my feelings toward Shepard, then.”

“I had such a hard time talking to you once we met back on Mars. But you never brought it up.” She looked up from staring at her hands, “You’ve been a great friend to me, Kaidan.”

“So have you, Liara.”

“So how about you Shepard?” Joker asked, sipping from his champagne. “You’re bound to have lots of great memories about Kaidan.”

“I was just thinking about our first date,” Shepard grinned.

“At Apollo’s?” Kaidan asked.

“Well, yeah. But also our first _real _date.” Kaidan raised an eyebrow, shook his head. “You know,” Shepard winked. “The Presidium hotel?”

Kaidan’s eyes got wide at the sudden recollection.

“God, Shepard!”

“Oh boy, this I don’t need to hear,” Tali laughed.

“What?” Shepard surveyed his guests with a look of mock indignation. “You’ve all got good memories of Kaidan, mine are just better.” He shrugged.

“It sounds very romantic,” EDI offered.

“Among other things,” Joker said. “What’s with all the memories, anyway? This is a retirement party, not a wake.”

“You were the one talking about death before!” Shepard retorted.

“I remember the first time I was introduced to your son,” EDI continued, undeterred. “I had never considered the idea of ‘family’ before. My crew were my family, as far as I was concerned. You told me that you and Shepard had been at a children’s charity and decided to become fathers. I found it strange, at first, that you would want to raise a child in a world that had been ravaged by the Reapers. You told me, Kaidan, that the future was coming one way or another, and we could either work to make it the brightest future we could, or else we could let it pass us by.” She smiled, “Thank you for teaching me that family are the people who make the future bright.”

“Thank you, EDI,” Kaidan said, voice thick with emotion.

“Come on,” Joker rallied. “Your turn, Kaidan. Speech!”

“Speech!” Garrus repeated.

Shepard nudged Kaidan in his ribs and Kaidan sighed.

“Well, I thought now that I was retired, I could finally be done with public speaking, but I guess one last speech won’t hurt.” He stood up, held his glass close to his chest. “There have been a lot of moments in my life that have really come to define who I am as a person, and I’ve been lucky to have people there for me every step of the way. I’ve had a pretty great life, had a lot more chances than I deserve…” he looked down, momentarily at a loss for words. He remembered a time long ago, when Shepard was under house arrest, where he wanted to finally confess his feelings, admit he was wrong, or even just fill Shepard in on his promotion to Major. He hadn’t done it, then, hadn’t spoken up. He decided to speak now. “I’ve raised some wonderful kids, I’m so proud of my grandkids. I married a great man. I’d like to think I did good work. I couldn’t have done any of it without the support of the people in my life. EDI, what I told you about family is still true, more than just my friends or my shipmates, you’ve all made my future a brighter place. You’re all my family.” He raised his glass. “It’s been a wild ride. Can’t imagine sharing it with anyone else.”

“Hear, hear!” Shepard said, standing and pressing a kiss to Kaidan’s cheek.

The old shipmates all stood, bringing their glasses together in the center of the gathering, clinking loudly. They talked long into the night, reminiscing on old times and filling one another in on new milestones. Tomorrow, Kaidan would start a new chapter in his life, and he was proud to be turning the page with these people.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! It's been a long time since I've written some mshenko stuff and it was pretty fun, I'm sorta proud of at least one of these shorts, so I hope you enjoyed them! I can't thank you enough for reading, you're the best.


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